“Save me, oh God, for the waters are up to my neck…”

wow

life is going by so quickly…

I feel as if someone rolled mine up into a ball and shot it straight at me from a canon…

KA-BOOM!!!!!

but yeah…life is a little strange sometimes. and I have nothing more to say on the subject!

Finis.

…..

“daimonie, you will destroy your life force, nor do you pity
your infant son nor me, ill-fated, I who will soon be
your widow. For soon the Achaeans will kill you,
making an attack all together. It would be better for me
to plunge into the earth if I lost you. For no longer will there be any
comfort once you have met your fate,
but grief. Nor are my father and mistress mother still alive.
For indeed brilliant Achilles killed my father,
and he utterly sacked the well-inhabited city of the Cilicians,
high-gated Thebe. And he slew Eëtion,
but he did not strip him, for in this respect at least he felt reverence in his thumos,
but rather he burned his body together with his well-wrought armor,
and built a funeral mound over him. And mountain nymphs,
the daughters of aegis-bearing Zeus, planted elms around him.
I had seven brothers in the palace;
all of them went to Hades on the same day.
For brilliant swift-footed Achilles killed all of them
among their rolling-gaited cattle and gleaming white sheep.
But my mother, who was queen under wooded Plakos,
he led here together with other possessions
and then released her after taking countless ransom,
and Artemis who pours down arrows struck her down in the halls of her father.
Hektor, you are my father and mistress mother,
you are my brother, and you are my flourishing husband.
I beg you, pity me and stay here on the tower,
don’t make your child an orphan and your wife a widow

oof.

today was a rough day. literally.

we have a main sa-bong-nim (master) in taekwondo. He’s one of those goofy, young guys, always laughing and teasing. Today was sparring day. So, it was my turn to fight. Still with a smile on his azn face, he gets ready to fight. I tensed my body, preparing for the blows…they didn’t come…yet.

and all of a sudden, he struck. this time he was serious. sometimes he goes easier…but not today. by the end I was hacking.

but it wasn’t the end yet.

The next master came.

another young guy…rarely smiles, but a great teacher.

“you have to do new combonations,” he said.
so I did.

I’m one of the three girls in the class, and though the lowest belt (green stripe) of the three, (the other two are black belts) the most agressive. I say it’s the Irish in me. But. I was totally unprepared.

The long and short of it was that I lost my wind and couldn’t breath. And then I tasted blood. Yuck. It’s salty.

I like salt, but not that type.

So I kind of dragged along, just letting him pommel me, not even blocking.

Wow.

It was a rough day.

The first sunrise

it’s dark. very dark. the sky is filled with millions and millions of stars. I shiver, not quite from the cold. my dog pulls on his leash, and we sit down to wait.

in a while we notice that the sky has grown lighter. the stars still twinkle, but softly; dimly. the horizon turns from dark blue to soft blue to grey to white to rose. mist swirls, and in the trees, a bird sings. in another moment, one can see a slight, very slight tinge of gold on the hills. then more. and more. and the horizon is suddenly bursting with gold. the dog and I; alike in this one thing, squint keenly, trying to find the edge of the rays. the sun is on the brink of existence, and we cannot miss it!

and then….

and then…

there it is! the first sunrise in the new year!

in the golden silence, i cannot speak; i can only breathe my prayer; my breath rising like smoke.

a new year Lord, another year filled with days to glorify you. another year filled with heartaches, and embarassments, and trials. another year filled with laughter, joy, and hope.

and I think of you, deart heart; you know who you are; sleeping quietly while i wake.

so the new year has begun.

at the back of the north wind

there is another type of weather that i love, and that is the wind. there are four times when I love it and they are these;

“In the very early morning,
when one wakes up to greet the dawn,
and the light comes up, and up, and up,
and the wind blows the clouds,
fleecy and white.
it blows them to the sun, where they turn
to brilliance
and you must shield your eyes.

In the afternoon,
when the trees bend
and the kite flies
higher
and higher
and higher
until you can barely see it,
and then
CRASH
it comes down
hard.
And the wind just laughs.

At evening,
when the bogies come
and shadows lengthen
and one feels glad to be inside,
when it is cold and freezing
and dark
the wind howls
then whistles
like a flute
piping away without a player.
And the door
SLAMS
and the steps
CREAK
and evening’s here
and so’s the wind….

And at night
when you’re in bed
almost drifting off to sleep
the wind moans
like a dead woman
crying
for her baby
moaning
and whispering
ever
so
softly.”

THE WIND. ~ Emily Dickenson

“Of all the sounds despatched abroad,
There’s not a charge to me
Like that old measure in the boughs,
That phraseless melody

The wind does, working like a hand
Whose fingers brush the sky,
Then quiver down, with tufts of tune
Permitted gods and me.

When winds go round and round in bands,
And thrum upon the door,
And birds take places overhead,
To bear them orchestra,

I crave him grace, of summer boughs,
If such an outcast be,
He never heard that fleshless chant
Rise solemn in the tree,

As if some caravan of sound
On deserts, in the sky,
Had broken rank,
Then knit, and passed
In seamless company.”

Wind on the Hill ~Alan Alexander Milne

“No one can tell me,
Nobody knows,
Where the wind comes from,
Where the wind goes.

It’s flying from somewhere
As fast as it can,
I couldn’t keep up with it,
Not if I ran.

But if I stopped holding
The string of my kite,
It would blow with the wind
For a day and a night.

And then when I found it,
Wherever it blew,
I should know that the wind
Had been going there too.

So then I could tell them
Where the wind goes…
But where the wind comes from
Nobody knows. “

The Wind ~ Amy Lowell

“He shouts in the sails of the ships at sea,
He steals the down from the honeybee,
He makes the forest trees rustle and sing,
He twirls my kite till it breaks its string.
Laughing, dancing, sunny wind,
Whistling, howling, rainy wind,
North, South, East and West,
Each is the wind I like the best.
He calls up the fog and hides the hills,
He whirls the wings of the great windmills,
The weathercocks love him and turn to discover
His whereabouts — but he’s gone, the rover!
Laughing, dancing, sunny wind,
Whistling, howling, rainy wind,
North, South, East and West,
Each is the wind I like the best.

The pine trees toss him their cones with glee,
The flowers bend low in courtesy,
Each wave flings up a shower of pearls,
The flag in front of the school unfurls.
Laughing, dancing, sunny wind,
Whistling, howling, rainy wind,
North, South, East and West,
Each is the wind I like the best.”

mmmm….I love the smell of Christmas in the morning…

can you believe it? It’s actually that time of year again, the most beautiful, most wonderful time of the year. And it flew by so fast! I feel old…I used to lay awake, waiting, waiting, WAITING for morning to come so I could jump out and start rippin’ ! Not anymore…now I’m content to lay down by the tree, savoring the moment (and the gorgeous smell).

Christmas is such a beautiful time. Not just the incense of the pine, nor the crisp cold air, nor the closeness of family. I’m sure you know what I mean… the realization that a Savior has been born unto us! ahhhh… the best feeling of all.

Currently, it is actually Christmas Eve that I’m writing these thoughts… I don’t know if I can hop on the computer tomorrow so I plan ahead by writing them today.

well, I’m off to take another whiff of beeeeautiful pine tree….

ttyl, and have a blessed Christmas!!!

~JuEunhae

“O Tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, oh tidings of comfort and joy!!!!”

Rain….

It rained today. Here’s an excerpt from “Letters to a Friend” that describes my feelings exactly.

“Today is the type of day where you know nothing will go wrong. The type of perfect day that gives a pleasant, comfortable satisfaction at the end.

The sky is beautiful; grey with bright white light in the clouds. Just almost ready to burst with juicy raindrops, but not quite.

I went outside wearing only my dalmation pajamas and a t-shirt. I was going to take out the trash, you see. My hair was soaking wet because I had just taken shower. All of a sudden, it began to drizzle. I could not help it….In my bare feet and pajamas, soaking wet and cold, I danced as if I was possessed by faeries. I didn’t care if the neighbors saw me;no, I didn’t care if the whole world saw me. I was delighted; delighted with the rain, the clouds, the whole world. I was delighted with life. And I thought of you.

The sky has grown darker now. Though there is now wind, a few leaves on the ground flutter slightly. One trembling leaf on the great maple shudders, while all the others are completely still. It’s as if…as if; the maple, the leaves, me; as if the whole world is holding it’s breath and waiting…waiting for the music to start.

For of course, rain is music. Many great composers have tried to capture it in a song; though they never can succeed as well as the Greatest Composer of all.

It starts out with silence. Waiting…waiting… Then a single note. A single brush stroke on a violin. A single raindrop. Silence. And then…another. and another. faster, and faster. The brush strokes are louder and soon other instruments join in. The percussion takes over with loud, juicy drops on the woodblocks. The flute plays lightly. The violins begin their melody of the wind now; howling. The dark clouds gather with a ‘boom’! and ‘crash’! Drums and cymbal! Thunder and ligtening! The winds howl louder as the brass calls, trying to raise their voices over the thunder…

….and then….

Just as quickly as it had come, the storm ceases. There is only a steady pattering, slow and gentle and lulling. Slower…and slower… the last violin utters the last note; the last raindrop as a flute sings a little trill of ectasy; a bird fluttering its wings to rid them of the dew. ANd finally, a golden harps plucks a few golden notes of peace and contentment; saying “All is Well”.

That is how the song goes. And now, the clouds are rolling by. Everyone is silent and waiting for the performance to start. With a single drop of rain; a single stroke of the violin, a single note.”

all alone

I’m lonely.

A leetle Overview of the weekend…

Soooo…what has happened in my life today? Nothing much. Except précis and also a strange Christmas piano/violin/voice recital. UGGGGH. I’m sorry, but I really feel like complaining! Can you imagine listening to seven badly played “jingle bells” and over 50 tuneless renditions of “Good King Wencelas”, “Noel”, and “God rest ye merry gentlemen”!?!?!?!? And I usually love the last song too… my brother, Kenton and I were the only people playing pieces that could give joy and tidings of peace this day…… siiiigh. Although… I did have a bright spot in my life! I talked to a chipmunk today!!! (heh). I feel happy now  . I ALSO talked to a certain blue whale who somehow always makes me feel insignificant and stupid and little. I bet he’s happy now…huh! Since I haven’t written for a while, maybe I should give a leetle overview of what has happened during the weekend? …………very well, I take that silence as a “yes”. Well, on Friday I went to an amazing inkling Christmas party… I got “batman begins”dvd as my
white elephant gift. Haha…firsttime I’ve ever got anything good. I mean, I remember the little box with the broken cherub and baby crab apples (from David) the gay little figurine of Bart Simpson, the box of rice and dirt, the barfing card… (you don’t want to know)… I mean, I ALMOST got the Pride and prejudice dvd… But you win some and you lose some

We played so many games…like running through the house screaming and trying to grab the spoons (well…the girls played that game. The guys tinkered with the piano and the game of Risk). And lots of card stuff… we played “torrey mad libs” and created ridiculous purpose statements, thesis statements, and poems called “torrey blues”. Lol. One of these days I’ll write it here in my blog.

Anyways, Saturday was spent at the convalescent home, playing violin and piano for the elderly.
Afterwards, we went to the Ellers’ house for bible study. Joy oh joy… I’ve had SO MANY experiences with the Ellers…you don’t even want to know. Welllll…. Actually you would cause they’re pretty funny. Ask me sometime!!!! Well, while the grown ups had their party, I noticed Mrs. Simmons almost in tears wi/ the kids. There’s more than 30, and all are under the age of 10. and very naughty I might add!So I volunteered to take over and let her go upstairs. Actually….the other teens were supposed to help too but they were watching tv.
David helped too, but I was basically all alone. Not that I minded in the least. Often, kids are way more fun then teenagers. They’re so cute. Especially the little boys, trying to act all tough and everything, but still wanting your approval. I’d love to pick them up and squeeze!!! (yesss…. Like a stuff animal) but of course that would damage their dignity!!!! Lol. We did crafts and story time and singing… etc. It was great fun. I love kids….

Sunday: Church. The message was awesome. Yep…no one better than Johnny Mac…. (John MacArthur). We were learning about the Pharisee and the tax collector. Ouch! I’m afraid that I’ve had more than my share of that Pharisee’s attitude…… and then I came home and crashed. No précis for me that day…… not after going to bed at 3:00 am…

So basically, that’s all that’s happened during the weekend. More tomorrow…!

“We’re walking on the air….
We’re floating in the Midnight sky…
The people far below
Are sleeping as we fly…”

“We’re holding very tight…
I’m riding in the Midnight blue…
And finding I can fly
So high above with you…”

I do NOT care if certain… “Brazilians” don’t like this song because I love it!!!

“….And finding I can fly,
So high above with you !!!!”